How Did We Get Here?
by itinerarymango
Summary: A series that serves as a prequel to the stories Turn and Turn Again and The Kids are Alright.
1. Chapter 1

**I'm playing with the actually dates of these moments in order to fit my own ideas, so this particular event occurred later than it did in the show. This will go for everything. Basically if I decide that I want some event to happen in a different season to fit my purpose then I will probably do so. I'll try and put the dates on them as they fall in my timeline. Everything that has happened on the show aside for Lexie's death will occur. That means everybody that is dead has died. Everyone who has left is gone. The only change is that Addison never came to Seattle. Also, I went back and watched these episodes before I wrote these so I hope I am able to evoke the same feelings that the show did, but I don't want to just copy and paste the original dialogue (especially considering we've probably heard it all several times before). That being said, at least for the first couple of one-shots I really need you to tell me if something isn't working so that we can reach a nice balance between the show and the TaTA universe. Thanks and happy reading.**

_**March 2006**_

If there was one thing of which she was absolutely certain, it was that she didn't want to get out of bed. She sighed heavily running her hand along Derek's arm as he slept soundly behind her, reminding herself that this was the real Derek, the solid Derek, not the Derek in her dream. It was a stark difference from the way she had felt the night before. She had been happy, almost giddy. It had been nearly two months since she had cried in Derek's arms after revealing that she was pregnant. All she could think about was her screwed up childhood and how her mother had been working constantly. This baby was the product of two surgeons and she couldn't help but think that history was not only repeating itself, but upping the ante. Last night however, Derek had walked into her bedroom with a baby romper covered in Yankee's logos and suddenly the worry had shut off and she was happy. She knew that she was not her mom and Derek was not her dad and they could raise this baby because they loved each other. But that was last night, and this morning she felt like she was going to die and she really didn't want to get out of bed.

"Hi," Derek whispered from behind her dropping a kiss to her shoulder.

"Hi," she mumbled back grasping feebly at his hand as he moved from the bed.

She rolled over to his pillow, breathing in the scent that was uniquely Derek as he began to pull on his clothes for the day.

"Are you going to get up?" he asked with a smirk when his eyes met hers a few moments later.

"I'm not going," she huffed, pulling the covers up to her chin and burying her head deeper into his pillow.

The conversation that followed got them nowhere and Derek seemed to sense that he wasn't the one she needed at that particular moment. He walked from the room grabbing his cell phone and shooting her a reassuring smile. It seemed like no time later that she was staring at Christina and Derek, as they stood at the end of the bed.

"Traitor," she hissed at Derek.

He held his hands up in mock surrender and slunk from the room without another word. Christina repeated what Derek had said earlier before a look at Meredith's face convinced her that there may be something seriously wrong.

"Okay. This is me being supportive," she sighed.

"Really?" Meredith questioned.

"Really. I'm being supportive. Now talk," she nodded.

Suddenly she was ranting about anything and everything. She went on and on about the baby, and Derek, and her conditioner. Christina snapped and she found herself getting dressed and being driven to the hospital against her will. Derek found her later with a sour look on her face.

"Are you okay?" he asked and then because they were attempting to keep the gossip mill at bay for as long as possible, "are you feeling achy?"

"No. I have a feeling," Meredith sighed, leaning into his chest as his arms snaked around her.

"I get those," he murmured, although he wasn't entirely sure that it made any sense to either of them.

"Yeah?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah," he confirmed.

"And…" she needed some comfort whether it made sense or not.

"If you wait long enough it will pass," he smiled slightly.

She moved away from him, shooting him one last glance before disappearing. Derek smile broke and he sighed. He couldn't but help to be worried. The last week had been an eventful one and he was worried that Meredith was slipping backward after the progress they had made the night before, but right then he had a job to do. The next thing Meredith knew, she was standing in a hallway while Dr. Burke explained the plan for the Code Black. When he told them to leave she knew that she should, she had her unborn child to think about, but she couldn't seem to leave. She figured she would be waiting outside the OR ready to help after the situation had been diffused, but in an instant her hand was on a bomb and the bomb squad leader was strapping a flak jacket to her boobs and she was pleading with Christina not to tell Derek how stupid she had been. Christina disappeared from the room at Burke's request and she was alone with Mr. Carlson and the bomb squad guy, and suddenly the emotion of it all washed over her. She really didn't want to cry, but despite trying her hardest, she could feel the wetness beginning to prick at her eyes. Christina slipped into Derek's OR, needing to keep her hands busy and her mind off of her person.

"How's the girl with the bomb?" Derek asked.

"Pardon me?" she sputtered, her voice cracking slightly.

"The girl with bomb. How is she?" he repeated.

She hesitated for only a moment, considering Meredith's plea against the importance of telling Derek what was going on before finally replying, "she's hanging in there."

Everything seemed to be moving very slowly. Meredith was informed that they had to move and every fiber of her body screamed at her to run, but she managed to force her legs down the hall. Christina found her and Dylan seemed to recognize that her presence was calming for Meredith, allowing her to stay. Meredith was grateful because if she was honest with herself, her strength was waning and she wasn't sure if she could make it to the other OR without fainting. She kept playing the plan over in her head and out loud with Dylan, but it still seemed completely insane and she figured it had something to do with the metal object grasped in her fingers. After what seemed an eternity, Dylan was yelling and she was pulling the bomb out. Without a word she followed him, attempting to slow her racing heart, and then there was a bright light and she was on the floor. Derek meanwhile was exiting the OR when he heard the blast. He was running without knowing exactly why moments later and came upon the completely destroyed hallway. Moving through the wreckage to the OR, he offered Burke assistance in an attempt to clear the area quickly. It was only after they had finished, and were watching Mr. Carlson as he was wheeled away, that Derek caught a glimpse of light blue down the hallway. Somehow he knew it was her and was on his knees at her side in seconds. He felt for a pulse and sobbed openly when he found that it was still strong. Pushing the flak jacket off and pulling her into his arms, he stood just as Burke caught up to him. Burke nodded in solidarity and led him to the elevator, pushing the button wordlessly. The tears continued to fall landing on her scrub top and dotting the fabric with dark blue. When the doors opened, there was a rush of people talking at once and he could feel Meredith being pulled from his arms. They placed on her a gurney and only then did he notice that the chief was in front of him.

"What happened Derek?" he asked, placing his hand on Derek's shoulder to try and steady him.

"I…uhhh…I don't…there was an explosion and she was on the ground," Derek stammered choking on his own sobs.

He twisted out of the chief's grasp and tried to follow the gurney as they wheeled Meredith away. Richard once again reached out to grab his shoulder but grabbed his wrist instead, effectively holding him there.

"Derek. You can't do anything for her right now. Let your colleagues do their jobs," Richard tried.

"She's…ummm…she's pregnant. They need to check the baby," he cried suddenly.

"What? What…did…you...ummm…say?" Richard stuttered.

"She's almost 17 weeks along," Derek replied, suddenly feeling very weak and beginning to sink to the ground.

He could hear someone calling his name, but it sounded fuzzy and drawn out. He closed his eyes tighter trying to concentrate on the sound when a muffled THWACK finally forced him to jump back. His eyes snapped open and he squinted at the face hovering above his own.

"Derek, are you okay?" Burke asked.

"Uhhh…yeah. I think so," he croaked, attempting to pull himself up from the gurney where he lay.

"Hold on, go slow!" Burke ordered helping him to his feet, "you fainted. You've been out for awhile."

He walked slowly through the hospital, finding Richard almost immediately.

"Where is she?" he asked frantically.

"Yang and Stevens took her to get cleaned up in the locker room," he replied.

Derek was gone before he could say another word. He bolted to the locker room and through the door, finding Alex and George huddled on the benches sheepishly. He burst into the showers, finding that Christina and Izzie were coaxing Meredith into clothes after stripping her of her formerly bloody ones. Christina caught sight of him and shoved him from the room.

"Is she okay?" he asked quickly.

"They said there doesn't seem to be anything physically wrong with her. She was thrown back, but she's okay," Christina hissed pushing him onto the bench next to Alex.

"What about the baby?" he questioned, barely masking a sob.

"The ultrasound revealed no abnormalities," Christina replied.

Izzie led Meredith out of the showers and Derek was by her side seconds later. He held her flush to his side and led her through the hospital and then drove her home. Once there, he tucked her into the bed watching from the chair by the bed as she slept. At some point he must have dozed off because he awoke to Meredith shifting in the darkness. He leapt to action turning on a lamp beside the bed before crawling into the bed beside her. She flipped over to face him and his hand immediately moved to rub small circles on her side.

"You almost died today," Derek said after they lay there in silence for a moment.

"Yeah. I almost died today," she sighed.

They fell into silence again, Derek's hand moving to run along her arm.

"The whole time I was there in the OR with Mr. Carlson all I could think about was the baby. I've been so freaked out by the pregnancy that we haven't really gotten to enjoy it," she whispered into the silence.

Derek's hand moved to brush the slight bump that was their baby, his eyes following the hands path before returning to her eyes.

"I thought of a few names," she said thoughtfully, "while I was in there."

"Tell me," he pleaded softly.

"I like Jillian for a girl. Or maybe Elizabeth. And I really only like one name for a boy. I want to name him Christopher. After you," she listed, biting her lip slightly as she awaited his input.

"I like those," he replied softly, kissing her forehead and pulling her into him.

**Apparently I really like making Derek faint; maybe I should lay off that since I'm pretty sure the character would do the exact opposite. Anyway, here is the first in this series of one-shots. I'm not sure if I will go back and do any of the episodes before this, but let's go ahead and say these one-shots might not be in order. Remember to review. Especially if you have a specific issue with the format so that we can get this figured out.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay so, this is based on the episode where the boys go camping. Everything that happened in that episode does indeed happen, but obviously since I am cramming an hour long episode into 1500-2000 words I cut stuff out. Especially the scenes in the woods because I just really didn't feel they were important to what I was doing here. Happy reading!**

September 2006

Derek lifted the overstuffed hiking pack onto his shoulder and moved toward Meredith. His hand moved automatically to her swollen stomach as he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"I don't have to go. The baby is due in less than a week, this isn't really a good time to be taking off," Derek urged, his hand moving in a steady rhythm across the bump.

"No. I already told you, flee while you can. If I was able to leave the hospital and wasn't currently being leeched of all my energy by your son I would be gone too," she replied only a slight hint of jealousy registering in her tone and facial expression.

"You'll be alright though? Stevens will be here, and you'll call me if anything changes?" he sighed.

"Yes, now go," she assured him before placing her hand on his shoulder and pushing him toward the door.

He glanced back once more before finally following George out to the car and closing the door behind him.

Later at the hospital, Meredith sat in a chair at the nurses' station giving her overly tired body a rest.

"Derek is camping while I am sitting here growing his child, and I know I told him to go... but seriously who leaves their pregnant wife to go camping?" she complained to Christina and Izzie across the desk from her.

"Prestons do not go into the woods. A guy named Preston is going to get his ass kicked, by a squirrel," Christina snarked.

"It's basically a slumber party we do it inside, they do it outside. That's really the only difference," Izzie added.

"Grey!" they heard from a few feet down the hall before Dr. Bailey closed in on them, "Why are you here?"

"Because you haven't given us our assignments yet," Meredith replied, with a slightly confused frown on her face.

"No," Bailey growled shooting a pointed look at her extremely round stomach, "why are you here? You're due next week, you should not be HERE."

"I need to log as many hours at this hospital as possible before the baby comes because I'm going to be gone for a month afterwards," Meredith stated matter-of-factly as she rocked herself ungracefully to her feet.

Bailey started to say something else, but was shortly interrupted by Mark Sloan.

"Have you seen what's his face?" he asked.

"Alex Karev," Izzie scoffed.

"He's camping," Meredith answered with a pointed glare.

"Well in that case, how would you like to tag along with me?" he questioned, a sly smirk turning his mouth.

"Dr. Bailey makes the assignments," she replied her eyes pleading with Bailey.

"Dr. Bailey says it's fine," she said, her eyebrow raising in victory over her intern, "or you can leave, if you'd prefer."

Meredith begrudgingly waddled off after Sloan as he made his way to the elevator. He pushed the button and they stood silently until the ding signaled and they boarded the car.

"Okay, before you start, there are rules to this friendship thing or whatever," Meredith said cutting off the words that were no doubt building in his mind.

"The dirty mistresses club has rules? You'd think a bunch of dirty mistresses would be less uptight about things like rules," he shrugged glancing at her slyly.

"I'm married. I don't think I count as a dirty mistress anymore," she shot, another pointed glare finding his eyes.

"You're still a dirty mistress, even if you are an 'ex' dirty mistress," he replied.

"Number 1, no talking about Derek. Second, no talking about the baby. And C, no giving me the face," she listed.

"What face?" he questioned.

"The McSteamy face. Doesn't work on me and besides, Derek does it better," she replied turning her eyes back to the wall in front of her.

"You know, if I had a pregnant wife at home, I wouldn't leave you to go sleep in the woods," he said, a cocky smirk on his face.

"Breaking rules one two and three," she accused before making her way off the elevator.

"So, you and Derek. You know the sex of the baby?" he asked.

Meredith sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Just answer the question and I'll stop asking. For some reason no one will tell me, and I know they all know," he pleaded.

"Derek and I have only told a select group of people and they have all been instructed to keep the information to themselves, so yes we know. It's a boy," she answered, never slowing her walk.

"I'm glad. The guy has four sisters, someone needed to make up for that," Mark replied.

Meredith met Donna and began to research the procedure, despite knowing that she wasn't likely to scrub in in her condition. Christina found her later in the day, looking through the medical texts.

"So basically you're getting paid to look at penises all day?" she asked as she moved to lean against the table beside her.

"I'm studying for McSteamy's reassignment surgery," she replied.

"You really like McSteamy don't you?" Christina questioned suspicion twisting her features.

"Yes," Meredith answered automatically then thought about what she'd said, "no, not like that. It's just he really knows Derek; every embarrassing childhood moment, every family event. He was there. And it's hard to hate the guy that ended my husband's previous marriage. In some sick, twisted way, we wouldn't have met if he hadn't screwed Derek over."

A slightly audible groan escaped her lips and she rubbed her belly in discomfort. Christina glared suspiciously at her back, but decided to ignore it as regular pregnancy discomfort.

"Hey, uh...when your mother was first diagnosed with Alzheimer's why didn't you tell anyone?" Christina fished as she turned away.

"She asked me not to," Meredith answered, continuing to write in her notebook.

"So you think it was right to keep her secret. Even if it meant you had to fish crap out of a toilet today and probably for years to come..." she trailed off watching as once again, Meredith grabbed her belly and let out a groan of pain, "holy crap, Mer. Are you in labor?"

"I don't know maybe a little bit. It might just be Braxton Hicks," she answered with a shrug.

"Don't you think you should call someone? Derek maybe?" Christina asked, getting progressively more frantic by the minute.

"No. It might stop. They aren't even regular yet. When they're regular, I'll worry," Meredith answered.

Before she could say another word, Christina's pager sounded and she rushed off to her patient leaving Meredith alone. Meredith continued to study the procedure and when the time finally came, Sloan allowed her to occupy a chair in operating room.

"Grey? What's our next step?" Mark called across the room to her.

"Uh, continue the primary incision of the..." she started but trailed off when yet another contraction racked her body.

"Grey...Grey? Are you alright?" he asked glancing to where she was sitting Donna's body.

"Uh...I think...I think I'm in labor," she replied rising carefully from the chair.

"Somebody help Dr. Grey!" Mark shouted watching as another intern led her from the room.

Meredith leaned heavily against the wall as the intern ran to grab a wheelchair.

"Grey? What's wrong now? I thought I told you to go home," Bailey asked as she walked from her own adjacent OR.

The look on Meredith's face told her all she needed however because she immediately grabbed the wheelchair from the returning intern.

"You need to call Derek," Meredith urged as Bailey wheeled her down the hall toward the elevator.

"Call Dr. Shepherd!" Bailey screamed at the terrified looking intern before they were gone.

Meanwhile, in the woods, Richard stopped suddenly hearing a ringing from behind him.

"Whose phone is that?" he asked turning to each guy in front of him.

"I don't even get a signal out here," George answered.

"Not mine," Alex replied.

When Joe, Walter, and Alex gave similar answers, Richard went searching for the origin of the sound. He quickly located Derek's phone, lying in his open bag inside his tent. Picking up the phone, he accepted the call before placing it to his ear.

"Dr. Shepherd's phone," he said.

"Uh, hello. I need to speak to Dr. Shepherd," a rather nervous sounding person replied.

"He's not here. Is there a message I can give him?" Richard asked.

"Uh, Dr. Grey is in labor," the person squeaked through the phone.

Richard's eyes grew large and he quickly hung up without another word.

"We have to find Derek. Meredith is in labor," he explained to the group in front of him.

Noting that Derek's fishing equipment was missing, they quickly made their way back toward the lake, finding him shin deep in the water with his line cast.

"Dr. Shepherd. We have to go back," George urged quickly, being the first to get to him.

"Right now I need to fish without anyone talking O'Malley," Derek argued slowing pulling in his line.

"Meredith is having the baby," Richard blurted up when he caught up on the tail end of Derek's statement.

"What?" Derek said, shock freezing his movements.

"Come one Shepherd. We need to go home," Richard reiterated, motioning toward the bank.

Derek finally seemed to gain control of his body again and began wading back toward land. They packed up the camp in record time and ran more than hiked back to the cars. Derek eased the jeep onto the road and bolted down the highway cursing himself for ever leaving Meredith in the first place. Back at the hospital, Meredith had been checked into OB and was watching as an intern hooked up her vital machines and checked her progress. Bailey stood nearby supervising her treatment and spitting harsh words at the nervous intern.

"Dr. Grey, you're about 6 cm dilated and 100% effaced, so there is still some time," the intern explained avoiding the glares coming from Bailey, "do you want an epidural yet?"

"Yes," Meredith answered quickly as yet another contraction ripped through her body.

The intern left to inform the anesthesiologist and Bailey moved closer to the bed.

"How long have you been in labor?" she asked sternly.

"Awhile," Meredith answered sheepishly.

"I told you to go home and you not only stay but then you ignore the fact that you are in labor?" Bailey yelled.

Meredith was unable to say anything grabbing the sheets tightly in her hand and biting her lip to combat the pain.

"I guess I'll yell at you later," Bailey sighed, pulling Meredith's hand from the sheet and into her own.

Christina walked in moments later and glanced warily at Bailey. Bailey shot a less than thrilled look back at her, but dropped Meredith's hand, walking briskly from the room and allowing Christina to take over.

"You're in labor," Christina said with false cheerfulness in her voice.

"Did anyone call Derek? Call him. My phone is..." she trailed off exhausted but pointed toward the phone on the table at the end of the bed.

Christina grabbed the phone and found Derek's name, listening to the rings and waiting for him to pick it up.

"Hello. Hi, I'm on my way I promise Mer," he said automatically.

"Yeah. I'm not Mer. I don't think you're driving fast eno..." she was silenced by Meredith's hand clamping down on her arm and squeezing tightly, "okay. Ow! Ow! OW! You need to get here or I'm going to kill your wife."

Derek listened to the beep signaling that Christina had hung up the phone dropped it back into the cup holder beside him. He pressed his foot down harder on the gas pedal but didn't judge the distance between the jeep and the car in front of him. The sound of crunching metal surrounded them and the and his chest met the steering wheel when the airbag didn't inflate. He tasted blood and his chest felt like it wasn't inflating. Richard in the seat beside him began to ask if he was alright, but he couldn't make a sound come out of his mouth. Alex leaned forward from the back seat, a gash ran along his head but he was more concerned about Derek silent in the front seat. The chief was pinned in his seat by the dashboard, but was free of any visible injuries.

"Derek?" Alex asked, checking his pulse from the vain in his neck, "Cheif. His pulse is weak and he's having trouble breathing.

"Look in the pocket on the back of that seat. I saw Derek's stethoscope in there. Then I want you listen to his chest," Richard ordered.

Alex grabbed the stethoscope and did as Richard said hearing almost no breath sounds on the left side.

"His left lung isn't expanding. He needs a cardiac tamponade," Alex explained, I think it collapsed.

All movement stopped as the sounds of sirens sounded from behind them.

"Okay. Go with Derek. You have to do this," he said.

Alex crawled from the car meeting the ambulance and watching as they pried Derek from the car.

"I'm coming with you," he shouted as he raced behind the paramedics, "I'm also going to need a really big needle."

After finally convincing the paramedic to hand over something that would work, he quickly calmed himself before jamming the needle into Derek's chest and watching as the fluid began to drain. Derek's breathing slowly began to improve and Alex checked his pulse again, noting a considerable improvement.

"Karev?" Derek croaked from below him, "you have to get me to the hospital. I can't miss the birth."

"I've got you Dr. Shepherd," he agreed banging on the wall behind the driver and yelling for him to hurry.

By the time they pulled up to the hospital, Derek was sore but stable and Alex rolled him up to Meredith's room. Christina eyes grew wide when she saw Derek on a gurney with numerous patches of blood and gauze covering his body.

"What the hell happened?" she asked as Alex began to back from the room.

"Car accident. He's stable, but I gave him a cardiac tamponade in an ambulance so..." he trailed of before disappearing from the room.

"Okay, she's ready to push," the OB attending explained, snapping Christina out of her reverie.

Suddenly, a cry filled the room and Meredith was grabbing desperately for Derek's hand on the gurney next to her. He smiled through his own pain and watched as the baby was placed on her chest before he finally succumbed to the medication he had been given.

Hours later, he awoke and found Meredith gently rocking the baby in her arms.

"Hi," he croaked, rubbing his own hand across the bandages on his chest.

"You tried to leave me alone with this baby," Meredith said as she looked over at him, "you tried to leave me alone and we never even decided on a middle name."

His eyes were sad as he reached over to pat her leg gently, but was unable to say anything before Alex walked in with a chart in his hand.

"I need to check your lungs Dr. Shepherd," he explained moving toward him and beginning his exam.

He nodded his approval and began to make his notes in the chart.

"Karev, you got me here," Derek said as he pushed himself up into a sitting position.

He groaned loudly but ignored it and continued his upward trajectory.

"You should probably lie back down," Alex noted with only half his conviction.

"What's your middle name Karev?" Derek asked.

"Michael," Alex answered his tone showing his confusion.

"Christopher Michael Shepherd? What do you think Mer?" he questioned with a smile, reaching out tentatively with the hand that was applying pressure to his chest to pat the baby's back.

"Alright," she agreed, shooting a slight smile at Alex.

**Holy cow that was a lot of words! I wanted to explain why Christopher would have Alex's middle name as his when Meredith wasn't really good friends with him until later. Obviously Burke was already gone since I moved this to the first year of their residency so I replaced him with Richard. Review, review, review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**If you couldn't tell I will not be updating this story regularly. These one shots take a lot longer because I have to watch the show before and while I write them so that I can borrow dialogue and it just makes the writing more time consuming. This episode has been rewritten time and time again; usually with the same result (Meredith is actually pregnant). However, I had a different idea of where this episode could go in my universe (mostly because I find drugged Meredith so hilarious). Also, I obviously play around with the timeline and since Mark was there during Christopher's birth he can't have arrived in this episode, so we're going to say he never left after the first time he came. After all in my universe he came fore Derek not Addison, so here is yet another chapter in HDWGH.**

_**February 2007**_

Meredith lay on the floor in the bathroom, her hands on her stomach and a towel folded beneath her head. She heard bare feet squeaking quietly against the wood floor outside the door before the door banged open and she was met with a frazzled Derek clutching Christopher to his chest.

"Are you okay?" he asked her, his facial expression quickly morphing to one of worry.

"Uh, yeah. It's probably just a bug or something," she muttered, pulling herself to a sitting position and then standing on wobbly legs, "I'm going to go get ready, do you have him?"

"Yeah, I got him," Derek confirmed, his eyes following her slow steps down the hallway.

He quickly changed, dressed, and fed the baby before depositing him in the playpen in their room and getting himself dressed. When he finally made it downstairs, he found Meredith sitting at the counter with a bottle of Pepto-Bismol clutched in her hand. He frowned again at the sight, but said nothing and they made their way to the hospital. It wasn't until later, after they had dropped off Christopher at the daycare and went in their separate directions to begin their days, that he caught up with her.

"Hey," he greeted moving toward her where she sat clutching her stomach in the hallway.

He noticed the glazed look of her eyes and the flush of her cheeks, but was pulled away as everyone jumped into action after the fire engulfed Mr. Sullivan. After the patient was sent to the ER and the area was clear of Mark, he made his way down the hallway searching for Meredith. He found her waiting for Christina while she got her a cup of water. He moved toward her quickly stopping to press a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"I'm fine," she said automatically.  
"You're burning up. And you don't look fine. You look beautiful, but you don't look fine," Derek sighed, following her in her path toward the nurses' station.

"Go you have aneurisms to clip," she brushed him off taking a tentative sip of her water.

"Yeah. Alright, you'll look after her?" he asked Christina.

"Um huh," she replied noncommittally.

He pressed one more kiss to the side of her head and shook his head worriedly before spotting the chief and making his way toward him. Meredith leaned over the desk putting her head on George's shoulder.

"You really do look like crap Mer," Christina said glancing over at her.

Suddenly a shutter ran through Meredith's body and she pushed Christina out of the way as she deposited the contents of her stomach on the linoleum floor.

"Crap, are you pregnant?!" Christina yelled as she began to rub Meredith's back and held the water to her.

Immediately all eyes were on Meredith and Derek eyes went wide. He flew down the stairs but was stopped short by Mark.

"Congratulations man. I'm happy for you," Mark called as Derek rushed passed him.

"You don't get to congratulate me. You don't get to be happy for me," Derek growled, "stay the hell away from me."

He continued across the room to Meredith but was again cut off when Bailey jumped in front of him.

"Uh uh. You're in a bad place. Your anger won't be good for Meredith. Let us get her taken care of," she ordered directing the residents to an exam room.

In the exam room, Christina smiled evilly at Meredith as she examined her.

"So, didn't you just have Christopher like 4 months ago?" she questioned, a smirk growing on her face.

"Almost five. I'm not pregnant," Meredith insisted, but her features twisted as she tried to figure out when her last period had been.

"I wasn't pregnant when I was pregnant either; but abdominal pain, fever, nonstop vomiting..." Christina listed.

"I'm not pregnant," Meredith insisted forcefully.

"You've been putting the baby to bed early haven't you?" Christina joked.

"Derek would have to have some kind of super sperm for this to happen twice," she reasoned more for her own benefit then Christina's, "I can't be pregnant. Can I?"

"With another McBaby," Christina said her tone falsely warm.

Meredith was unable to argue as Christina found a particularly tender spot on Meredith's abdomen.

"She's not pregnant," Bailey burst through the door, "we're going to have to run some more tests."

"Good. Then can I have some morphine," Meredith requested before turning away from them and shutting her eyes against the pain in her abdomen.

Later, Christina found Derek examining a patient. She walked through the door and Derek immediately stopped, looking at her for any sign about Meredith before finally asking the question that had been weighing on his mind for nearly an hour.

"Uh, Dr. Bailey wanted to know if you still needed someone on your service?" she asked.

"No, I'm fine. How is Dr. Grey?" he asked formally, attempting to remain professional in front of his patient.

"Oh, she's not pregnant. If that's what you're asking," Christina replied, and Derek groaned quietly at her lack of tact.

Christina's noticed the look on his face and turned quickly, rushing from the room without another word. Derek stood still wondering about Meredith's condition, but pushed it to the back of his thoughts vowing to visit her as soon as he was able. Chrisitna immediately made her way back to Meredith's room after picking up a stack of charts to work on. She fell into a chair and propped her feet up on the bed, watching as Meredith turned her head toward her and stared thoughtfully.

"You're a good friend," Meredith said suddenly.

"You're so high right now," Christina smirked, continuing her work on the chart in front of her.

"Actually, you're my best friend in the whole wide world," Meredith continued, her voice sounding child-like.

"I almost feel sorry for you," Christina mused, looking up at Meredith finally.

"Why? Because I could die today?" Meredith asked.

"See. This is why I hate being around stoned people," Christina replied, annoyance clearly entering her tone.

"And if I did die today I'd only be remembered as the slutty intern who had a baby with her boss," Meredith said.

"Technically you were a resident when you had the baby. And he was your boss' boss," Christina interrupted.

"He's going to be so chatty. It's going to be constant. Derek. Chris. Derek. Chris. I'll never get a moment of peace. I'd die as the slutty girl who had a chatty child with her boss' boss right?" Meredith rambled.

"Well probably. But none of that matters because you'd be dead," Christina said forcefully.

Bailey interrupted moments later with George and Christina stood quickly.

"Dr. Grey! You have a fever, high white count, and tenderness over McBurney's point; what do you suggest?" Bailey asked.

"Appendicitis," Christina, George, and Meredith answered simultaneously.

"O'Malley, prep her for surgery. You're scrubbing in," Bailey ordered, beginning her retreat from the room.

"Dr. Bailey. You really want me scrubbing in on Meredith's appendectomy?" George asked.

"Am I the only who remembers why they call him 007? He almost killed a guy," Meredith asked then added when she noticed his face, "sorry George."

Bailey glared first at George.

"I don't have to scrub in...unless you want me to," he rambled, his eyes focusing on the ceiling.

She turned her attention to Meredith who studied her face carefully.

"That good enough for you Dr. Grey?" she asked, although her tone made it clear that it was not actually a question.

"You're pretty," she answered suddenly.

Bailey simply rolled her eyes, moving back toward the door and leaving them to their own devices. George followed moments later, but before he could make it through the door, Meredith called after him.

"George. Bring me my baby!" she ordered with a slight grin.

George didn't turn around continuing from the room and down the hall.

Derek entered moments later and moved toward the bed.

"You have appendicitis? I knew it wasn't some little bug," Derek said as he moved toward the bed, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead.

"I'm not pregnant," Meredith giggled, "I would have killed you and your stupid boy penis."

"No, you're not pregnant," Derek agreed, his fingers running through her hair.

George came through the door, juggling Christopher, a diaper bag, and Meredith's chart.

"O'Malley? Why do you have my son?" Derek asked, moving to pull the baby into his arms.

"Yeah. All my boys are here," she said excitedly reaching her hands above her head excitedly.

"She made me bring him," George answered, moving back towards the door uncomfortably.

Derek clutched the baby toward him as Meredith tried to grab him from his hands.

"Meredith," he smirked, "you're on drugs, and you're in pain. I don't think this is the best time for Chris to be squirming all over you."

Meredith's bottom lip stuck out visibly and she sunk into the bed, pouting like a child. Derek sighed and placed Christopher next to Meredith on the bed, watching as he immediately rolled to his side despite the limited space and began gurgling and reaching toward Meredith.

"He can't be here. This woman is being prepped for surgery which means you need to get him out of here so my people can do their jobs," Bailey pointed at Christopher and glared at Derek.

"Dr. Bailey. My boys are here," Meredith giggled.

Derek pulled Christopher into his arms and grabbed the diaper bag off the foot of the bed before moving toward the door.

"We'll be here when you wake up," he said sweetly before moving through the door.

Bailey shut it quickly behind him and once again rolled her eyes at Meredith. Derek walked down the hallway toward the daycare before deciding against returning Christopher since he was already signed out. He made his way quickly to his office and strapped on the baby carrier before depositing Christopher into it. A sudden page set him toward the ICU where he stopped at the nurses' station to receive the necessary chart. He had just turned around to head toward the bed when he stopped short at the sight of Mark. He sighed audible before finally propelling himself forward and greeting the patient.

"Hello Mr. Sullivan, I'm Dr. Shepherd. I'm going to be doing a neurological exam on you today. I hope you don't mind I brought my helper with me," Derek said motioning toward Christopher who was staring wide eyed from the carrier on his chest.

"Is he yours?" Mrs. Sullivan asked, as Derek started his evaluation.

"Yeah. My wife is headed into surgery shortly, we just got done visiting with her and Christopher here is playing hooky from the daycare," Derek replied with a smile, tucking his pen light back into his pocket.

"And you're working? I couldn't concentrate if my husband was in surgery," Mrs. Sullivan said surprised.

"Keeps me busy," he shrugged, "if I wasn't here I would be worrying."

Mrs. Sullivan nodded and Derek quickly scanned the chart before nodding his head and looking between the couple.

"I'm going to suggest overnight observation before Dr. Sloan proceeds with the surgery," Derek explained watching as their faces fell.

"Is that really necessary Dr. Shepherd?" Mark questioned.

Derek turned toward him, moving forward into a posture as menacing as he could manage with a baby strapped to his chest.

"The longer we wait the higher the risk of infection," Mark explained, standing his ground firm despite Derek's stance.

"Well I think it is more important to tend to possibly life threatening injuries before we move on to cosmetic procedures, Dr. Sloan," Derek spit.

"He's not here for a face lift Derek, he a burn victim," Mark argued.

"Why did you page me here for a consult if you weren't going to listen to me," Derek hissed but was cut off by Mark.

"Because I thought you would be able to keep your personal life out of your professional one," Mark accused.

"I do my job," Derek raised his voice.

Their argument was interrupted by Mrs. Sullivan pleading with them on behalf of her husband and both doctors fell silent, before moving away from the couple to continue their discussion.

"I get that I'm still the bad guy in this situation. I get that what I did was terrible, but why are you still so mad? You're with Meredith now. You have a..." he motioned toward Christopher trying to decide what he wanted to say, "a really cute kid. Man, he looks just like you did in your baby pictures. I just...I've tried. I've apologized. I followed you out here to the rainiest city on Earth because you're the closest thing I've ever had to a brother. I've let you brush me off and yell at me, but I'm not going to let your issues with me direct your professional decisions."

Derek looked at Mark incredulously before moving past him without a word, unable to even spare him another word when all he really wanted to do was punch him in the face. He made his way to his office, hoping to wait out the time it took for Meredith's surgery with Christopher and his departmental paperwork. He had almost made it to his office when he heard the chief coming up behind him, calling his name.

"Derek," he called, adding when Derek had turned toward him, "Oh, and baby Christopher I see."

"Chief. Meredith wanted to see him, so..." Derek trailed off.

"Of course. How is Meredith?" Richard asked, crossing his arms over his chest self-consciously at the fact that Meredith wouldn't like him asking about her.

"She was pretty loopy when I was in there earlier. Bailey kicked me out, so I haven't seen her since they started prepping her," Derek replied, bouncing slightly as Christopher eyes began to droop toward sleep.

"Miranda's probably nervous. Having your student on the table can be very nerve-wrecking," Richard mused, and then noticing Derek's forlorn expression added, "Are you okay?"

"Look, Richard. Can I ask you a personal question?" Derek asked.

Richard tilted his head inviting him to ask without saying a word.

"Did Adele ever forgive Meredith's mother?" he questioned.

"The short answer, no. She had no reason to forgive Ellis. They weren't friends. They didn't hold a bond, and in the end, I chose her. I think after a while, Adele just stopped thinking about Ellis, but she never forgave her," Richard explained.

Derek's face looked thoughtful and he began to absentmindedly rub Christopher back through the carrier.

"You and Mark have known each other for a long time. You grew up together, and although he did something completely deplorable, he's not going anywhere. He's making the effort. Sometimes you have to be the better man," Richard said before patting Derek on the soldier and walking away.

Derek stood motionless for a moment before again starting toward his office. Meanwhile, Meredith was being wheeled down the hall toward the OR by George.

"McSteamy! Whoohoo!" she called suddenly.

Mark looked over, smirking at her before walking over. Meredith scratched her nose as George stopped the bed.

"McSteamy? Is that what you're calling me now?" Mark asked as he settled in beside the bed.

"Yeah, but I don't think you're supposed to know that," she giggled.

"How's my favorite dirty mistress?" he questioned.

"I'm not a dirty mistress anymore remember," she corrected a little louder than necessary.

"I saw your kid. Really cute," Mark said after he has finished laughing at her outburst.

"He's really cute right? He's going to be chatty though. Chatty like Derek," Meredith rambled.

"Uh, Dr. Sloan, I have to take her now," George interrupted.

"Alright," Mark agreed, moving away from the bed with a wave and watching as Meredith was wheeled away.

Derek ventured out of his office toward the surgical nurse's station. He found Mark working on a chart and immediately moved toward him.

"I'll clear him for surgery," Derek said matter-of-factly.

"Really?" Mark asked turning to him, while trying to stifle his excitement on Derek's somewhat neutral tone.

"You were right. I can't let my personal life bleed into my professional one," he explained, pausing momentarily to gather his thoughts before speaking again, "I'm not ready to forgive you. Not yet anyway. This betrayal runs deep and I can't just forget about it, but I can try to make our work environment better. That doesn't cost me anything, so I can do that."

Mark stood speechless for several moments staring at Christopher where he was settled in Derek's arms. He gulped audibly and nodded slowly before finally managing to speak.

"Okay," he replied softly.

Derek nodded his agreement and shifted in order to make his way away and toward Meredith's recovery room.

"He really does look like you Derek," Mark added before Derek had completely turned away.

"I know," Derek replied before walking away.

He made his way to Meredith room and walked inside to find Meredith wide awake.

"Hi," she greeted as he moved to sit on her bed.

"Hi," he greeted bending down the press a kiss to her forehead.

"How bad did I embarrass myself on Morphine?" Meredith asked, reaching forward to rub Christopher's back gently.

"Not too bad," Derek shrugged, his face giving away his slight inner turmoil.

"What's wrong?" she asked recognizing the tension etched in the features on his face.

He shook his head in response but Meredith's hand finding his immediately changed his mind for him.

"It's okay...for you to like Mark. I know that he's been nothing but nice to you and my feud with him is not necessarily your feud," he explained, his voice soft.

"I can't hate him. He sent you running to me," Meredith said, her hand squeezing his lightly.

"Just don't sleep with him," he joked, moving Christopher next o Meredith where he snuggled up immediately.

Meredith laughed slightly, stopping when the pain in her abdomen reminded her that laughing wasn't wise at that moment. Derek moved into the chair beside the bed, propping his feet up on the mattress and grabbing the remote to turn on the television prepared to spend a few hours with Meredith before putting himself and Christopher to sleep in his office.

**If you read Secrets when I was writing it, disregard that being a part of this universe. I changed my mind about Derek and Mark's, and since I abandoned that story after growing bored with it, I'm going to pretend it never existed. The kind of sort of second part to this one shot will probably be next, but I haven't entirely worked out the logistics of it yet. Mark and Derek will reconcile, but I don't know what episode I'll set it in, so it will take some planning. If you have any requests for episode rewrites put it in the reviews and I will certainly consider them. Reviews make me happy!**


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